Pretending you're not a guiri

Entertaining article full of up-to-date vocabulary. And much of it is absolutely real (and useful if you’re a guiri)

Guiri: ( Urban Dictionary def.) a somewhat pejorative term for a foreigner, usually a tourist, who happens to be in Spain and stands out as being obviously not a local. The term is usually used to refer to fairer-skinned people from Great Britain or Germany, but can be extended to any foreigner that is in Spain.

1. Don't overuse sorry, please and thanks in conversation: The Spanish are an emotional bunch, but they go for heartfelt apologies rather than saying sorry every time they brush against someone on the underground. According to a survey in the UK, the average Brit will say sorry a staggering 1.9 million times in their lifetimes.

2. Forget the early lunch and dinner hours: If you don't want to be identified as guiri, try not be seen eating lunch when your fellow Spaniards are just finishing  breakfast.

3. Don't order sangría all the time: Contrary to popular belief abroad, Spanish people's favourite drink is beer and not sangría. There's nothing wrong with ordering this refreshing wine punch, but getting a round of cañas will make you blend in much more.

4. Don't be offended by compliments: It's not just builders who will sing your praises in Spain. Everyone from a bartender to an old lady in the street will  call you guapo/a (handsome/beautiful) or cariño (darling). This doesn't mean they're coming on to you necessarily, so take it with a pinch of salt.

5. Don't yell out "hola" when you're waving at someone you know across the street. Say adios (goodbye) or hasta luego (see you later) instead. That's what Spaniards say when they are in a rush and don't have time to stop and talk. As the Beatles used to sing, "I don't know why you say good bye, I say hello!".

6. Stop hunting around for UK style tea: If you're from the UK or Ireland, you may have had trouble satisfying your craving for a good cuppa while in Spain. Most supermarkets only stock herbal tea rather than the landmark black tea with milk that's so popular in the British Isles.

7. Don't underdress if it's getting chilly: OK, for many expats who stem from colder climes, Spain's climate is positively tropical. You might not even feel the cold as much as back home (especially when you've got your beer jacket on), but don't expect to go unnoticed if you're walking around in shorts in a chilly 10 degrees.

8. Make sure you greet complete strangers in lifts: There's no need to get to know them inside out, but saying buenos dias or buenas tardes in these kind of situations is considered good manners in Spain. If you give them the cold elevator shoulder, they'll probably guess you're a guiri.

9. Don't succumb to outdated Spanish stereotypes: There's nothing wrong with being a fan of bullfighting and flamenco, but assuming that's all that modern day Spaniards are interested in these pastimes is a long way from the truth. Ditch your Hemingway novels and go to a Spanish stand-up comedy show. You'll get insider knowledge on Spanish culture and pick up a few handy chistes (jokes) at the same time.